These questions are asked me frequently:

Does it hurt to be fisted?

No. It does not hurt at all. More information for guys who are completely new to fistfucking is available on the page alles over fisten (only in Dutch right now, I am working on a translation in all about fisting).

How long does it last until a newbie can get fisted?

That is completely different from one person to an other. Some guys can take a fist in their first attempt. Others will never be able to take a fist… An experienced fister will be able to tell you if you have talent to get fisted.

Two things have to happen to be able to take a fist. First of all, the muscle of your anus has to be stretched. (See next question). Second your body needs to have enough “free space” after the anus. I have met a few guys that really can’t take any large object in there.

What is the best way to open my anus so I can take a fist?

Your anus is a muscle. Like other muscles in your body, you can do exercises to make it larger. The most common way to stretch the anus is by inserting dildos or butt plugs. But this is always in the direction your body is not used to.

My advise it to use an inflatable butt plug. (For sale at any gay sex shop). Insert it with a lot of (water based) lube. When it is completely inserted, pump it slightly. Now pull it out, like when you poop. This way you stretch the anus in the natural direction.

inflatable buttplug

Just repeat this until your anus tells you it needs a rest. Don’t overstretch it. Just play with your ass every time you feel horny and you will be surprised how quickly you will be able to inflate the plug bigger and bigger.

It is also a great feeling to leave the plug in your ass for a longer time.

Don’t you have problems with your ass after fisting?

After a fist session, the ass does not always close immediately. But after a little while, it closes just like any other ass. The anus is a muscle. You train to stretch and relax it. When it is in resting position, it is as closed as any other ass. By training, fisters know how to relax the muscle and this makes it easier to put a dildo or fist into it.

See also the page about rosebuds and anal prolapse.

I am new to fisting. Can I visit a fistfuck party?

Yes! You are most welcome. It is always nice to see new guys at a fist party. You don’t have to participate. If you come for the first time, just look at everything that is going on. See the way fisters communicate during play. You’ll see that we are just like normal men 😉

More information about visiting a fistfuck party is available in English and Nederlands.

…but I don’t like fistfuck parties or sex parties in general…

In that case you will have to go online to find a fist partner…

What are the best websites to find fisters?

The best (free) dating site for gays in Europe is They offer much more value for no money compared to gaydar,, adam4adam, asspig and all those other sites.

A good second option is What I like about this website is that the conversation history is not deleted automatically.

For a review of these and other dating sites, go to the links page.

I know younger people prefer apps on their phone, but personally I stick to a large computer screen and keyboard. For me that is much faster. So I can not recommend any apps.

There are many social media sites with gay fist groups. I run This works fine on a smartphone as well! 🙂

I have an other question

Please have a look on this website. There is a good chance you will find the answer. And if not, please send me an email or write your question in the Comment box at the bottom of this page.



Frequently asked fistfuck questions (FAffQ) — 46 Comments

  1. No site covers the after. When playing deep, past the sigmoid, you will often stop having movements for one to two days due to your body compensating for trauma. You also can suffer constipation for up to five days. My question is, knowing that, how do you play consecutively without risk of jamming up your colon since your colon continues to shut down despite food continuing to be eaten? Do you have to constantly douche? And isn’t there risks to over douching? Thanks for this faqs!

  2. Hey uh…I’m 15 and new at this and I tried doing it earlier but while I was putting it in it started to bleed and I don’t really know what to do…the bleeding stopped but it’s still pretty red and hurts

    • Hi Dyl,
      A little bleeding is not uncommon. If you see blood during assplay, you have to stop. A little break is often enough to carry on. (15 to 30 minutes will do). If the bleeding does not stop and/or you keep feeling serious pain, you have to see a doctor. You might have damaged the intestinal wall. If that is not treated quickly, faeces will enter the abdominal cavity. This means serious trouble. So as painful as it can be, it that case you will have to tell all you did to a doctor.
      Good luck and take care!

  3. Hi Rick,
    28 year old from Australia here. I’m wanting some advice and any tips on how to work up to double fisting. I’ve been using the square peg 3XL egg plug and the square peg Butt Bomb to train and stretch, also use j-lube, I can take a single fist quite easily but can’t quite get to taking a double fist. As you’re quite talented what suggestions if any do you have to get the two fists in, I’ve thought maybe it’s the Amyl/poppers I’m not using that could be the key. Cheers

    • Hi Chris,
      The only advice I can give you is to use slightly larger plugs, and keep on stretching.
      Very good that you don’t use poppers. It certainly helps some to relax. But if you are able to relax just by yourself, that’s much better. Otherwise I would recommend yoga in stead of poppers.
      And it is a fact that there is a limit to the human body. Not everybody can take two hands.
      Take care and stay safe!

  4. I fist myself all the time I am 68 yo I use bottles Suzuki cucumbers or my wife’s hand. I had to go to hospital two times and get cut opened so doctor could pull out dildo that went threw the wall of my intestine and second time as the a hammer handle ripped where the stitches were sewed in. So please use caution and always go slow with caution and a ton of lotion you need it really slippery in there.The last time the doctor said to me this has to stop. I,m sorry but I just love the feel of being stretched out and my little rose bud comes out guy,s just love it my wife loves to suck on it some times a little to hard though.

  5. Hi , I am new to fisting and enjoy it greatly ! How often can I get fisted ? Several times a weeks? Every day? It is all happening quite well , even if not getting the hand at 100% yet! Thanks for your answer

  6. My boyfriend bottoms out when I’m fisting or pegging him. I’ve seen elbow deep fisting. So I know it’s possible. How do I get past the bottoming out to be able to go further with my fist or my toys?

    • It sounds like you’re reaching either what is colloquially known as the second or third ring, or the sigmoid colon. Unlike the external sphincter (butthole) these are involuntary muscles that can’t be relaxed at will. Try a couple of stretching methods. Either use a long, fairly thin, soft dildo (like a double ended dildo) to slowly stretch it out and get it used to the feeling of penetration. This method work well for those tight internal rings as well as gently straightening out the sigmoid colon. Alternatively, if you’re not getting anywhere with that, try using some poppers. These help to relax our involuntary muscles and can allow us to penetrate much deeper. Whilst your boyfriend is on a poppers rush, try to go deeper, but always take it slow. Poppers don’t stretch you out, they just relax you and help you reach your current stretching potential. Good luck!

    • There is no genereal answer to this question. Some people can get fisted the very first time, and some will never be able to take a fist…

  7. What does it mean if my fister sees small amount of blood on his fingers while he fists me? :/

    • That means he has to stop for at least 10 minutes. Then you can try again. It is not uncommon to have small traces of blood when you start fisting. That is even the reason that the hanky code for fisting is red.

      Some experienced fisters always have some blood when the start a session. Just wait a while and continue.

      If you feel pain or the amount of blood gets bigger, you need to stop. And if it gets even worse, you need to see a doctor.

  8. Hello! Thanks for the FAQs, that’s a very good guide!
    I was wondering if: considering that stretching can either strenghten the skills of our anus, prolapsing is really unsafe or not. I do enjoy stretching my butt and pushing as if I had to p**p (sry! but that is the case), thing that causes a small rosebutt, a fetish I’m into. So is that dangerous or not? It’s a thing I can do very naturally and I heard of a lot of girls that are deeply into this, saying that not only their ass is not weaker, instead they reached insofar a great control of their body whilst doing something enjoyable. I would like to introduce my girl to this but she’s even more skeptic than me. What can you tell us about this?

  9. Hi!

    Thanks for the very informative website!

    I was wondering about the risk of developing rectal prolapse (aka rosebud) as a result of fisting, as this is something I would like to avoid.

    In your opinion, do you think there is a reason to be concerned about developing prolapse from fisting? What are thing one really should or shouldn’t do to prevent it?


    • Hi Wayo,
      Very good question. There certainly is a small risk. Quite some guys try to achieve it, by using pumps and other stuff. As far as I know, it will not come just at once, but it will devolop very slowly. So just keep on playing and keep an eye on how your ass looks a day after playing.
      If you play only gently, without punching and not too much stretching, the risk to develop a rectal prolapse is small. But as I always say, I am not a doctor. So in case of any doubt, consult a doctor.

  10. I one of the guys who cant get s fist into my ass.i think my bones are to close together. I love hsving my eife put her hand as deep as she can get it but that’s only to the hand up her nuckles but that’s it csn get it in any more.i would so love to find awsy around this problem.

  11. I started relatively late with fisting, around my 50th BD, I’m in my mid 60s now and don’t have any problems with my ass muscles. On the contrary I have better control on them than before. I don’t say it never will happen, but as said to my experience, also with other fisters/fistees it is not common sense.

  12. I heard that fisters (even the really good experienced fisters) will have a lot of difficulties when they get older. When in relaxed position (the anus should be closed), they have problems to get it really closed and shit spontanteously in their pants (after 60 years of age). So is there any experience here to tell?

    • Hi Peter. I have been around in the fisting world for 30 years now and heard this question before, but never heard any person who has the assumed problems. I also never experienced any problems myself at all. I would also like to hear the experiences of the more senior fisters amongst us.

  13. Hi
    I used to get fist fuck in the past .
    About few months after i started to noticed after i shit my anus leak very little feces .
    Is this normal?
    I red in one site that the cilia in the anus takes out feces for all people.
    For me it didnt start right after the fisting and it only happens after i shit .
    Please help

    • Hi,
      Like I have said many times, if you have any medical problems, consult a doctor.
      From my own experience and from all the guys I know who practise fisting, none have a problem with leaking of the anus.
      So please do visit a doctor.

      • Hi
        I already consulted 4 doctors and they said i need to go to physiotherapy i hope it will work cause i dont really believe its the sulotion.
        Thanks for the comment

  14. I have gotten to the knuckles is there anything I can do on my part to help the fistee get past the knuckles?

  15. I was force fisted a couple of days ago and that was my first time doing it. After I’m back home i felt like something leaked out of my ass. I guess the guy didn’t do it correctly and now my anus stretched out so much or tear i don’t know. Now i can’t hold my shit and afraid to leave the house.

    I went to see the doctor but I don’t think he’s an expert at this so he just gave me antibiotic. I asked him would my anus recover he said he doesn’t know. Do you know anyone with similar case as mine? How long does it take for my anus to recover at least to the point I can hold my shit again. Thank you.

    • Hi Alex. First of all, if this is story is really true, I have to say you were very stupid.

      First of all, fisting is not something that is done by force.

      You were right to ask the doctor. But if a doctor does not know the answer to your problem and he gives antibiotic, he is not worth to be called a doctor. So the second mistake is that you did not go to the hospital right after this stupid “advice” from your doctor.

      I recommend to see a professional asap. And get an other doctor. You might even consider to report this issue to the health care authorities.

      Good luck. And NEVER do FORCE fisting again.

    • Hi, I’m a fister and fistee as well as a MD. Most important to know is if there’s a tear in your sphinter (in which case nothing short of surgery will help you regain continence)or the sphinter muscle just has been stretched (in which case some rest should do the trick).

  16. Do you really need to train your anus muscles if your going to get fist fucked for the first time. Is it possible to do it without training your muscles

    • The only way to find out, is to try. Most “fist virgins” I tried to fist were not able to take a whole fist in the first session. Only a very few exceptions.

  17. I am brand new at this and started stetching with a inflatable but plug what should i go to next and could you point me to the best beginners guide to fisting what is the best lube I read Crisco l IDK.

    • Next: bigger toys.
      Best beginners guide: The Dutch pages of this website. Open the website in Google Chrome and use translation if you don’t understand Dutch.
      Best lube: You have to try them all. Everybody has his own preference. I prefer J-Lube.

  18. Hi, forgive me because I am blushing that I would go this far to get an answer. I am an American woman who does not like my ass being tampered with so really I have no business being here. But I saw a video today of men being fisted and then they like pulled some organ out of the men that protruded from their anuses. I’m not really offended or a fan of gay porn and I am just extremely curious. What is that?? I had never seen anything like that before and now I am curious. I thought I was very educated about anatomy but apparently not

  19. Hi!
    I wonder every time on all this sites that noone is able to make a simple video for the fistees and the fister to show how to stretch in foreplay the ass.
    What to use and how to use and do!
    The fist videos are made from professionals and are not able to teach anything for a biginner!
    I am now around 20 years in this scene and my experience is that newbees arre all ways fears about what they see in the professional videos wher is no foreplay…
    I think it will be a good idea!

    • Hi Flow,

      I think you are right. If you (or anybody else) would like to make such a video, it will be my pleasure to put a link on this website.


      • Not looking for any promotion or so… but on my profile you can see my development from when I could just take a normal dildo, then a bigger one… and then I jumped to bigger toys and then fists… I would be glad to cooperate on all the information to do kind of “manual” of fisting with plenty of tips and experience, etc.

  20. Hi. Nice post. I have a question that I hope you can give me some insight on. Why is it some fistee can get fisted and even punch fisted and there be no signs of bleeding; whereas, other guys no matter how slow and cautious you are with them do bleed when u fist them?

    Thank you in advance for your response.

  21. Hi!

    I love to be lower in fisting. After 5 years proeba, I want to have a rosebud, nopoka it is so small. I squeeze a rosebud in a closet, using poppers, but does not work. I read that you can use the pump for cock, after a good fisting or the development of the anus. I used to fuck himself, develop a point after a flask for the cock is inserted into a (oral) and pump-sort of like a rosebud, but a long time to keep that hard-ache inside. Prompt, give recipes, as I myself have a rosebud? Simply squeeze the toilet is not so simple, can have better options?
    The second board-how to make the introduction to a depth of up to fist-logtya using popers? I can not breathe egsho as needed?
    Give advice. Thank you.

    • I think this comment was translated by a computer. I don’t know what is the best way to develop a rosebud.

      If I understand your second question correctly, you want to know how to develop deeper fisting. I would say use larger toys. But some men just can’t be fisted deep. An experienced top can tell you if you are able to develop more depth.

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